A Darkness Within My Mind
by nekosama13049
Summary: Spencer is prisonner of Tobias, between them a strange link grow up. How does the young FBI agent will manage this link close to madness ?
1. Alone

**A Darkness Within My Mind**

**Chapter 1 : **Alone

**Pairing : **Tobias Hankel / Dr. Spencer Reid

**Contents : **Yaoi ; Drugs ; Rape ; Non-con

Reid woke up handcuffed on the little chair, the smell of the stinky burning fish striked his nose and the pain in his right foot came suddenly back. He moaned, opening laboriously his eyes, the light was too strong for him. He remembered the few minutes before he faint. Charles, one of Tobias' personality, was hitting him with a piece of wood, the pain was so unbearable and he faint.

Tobias opened the door, a dead lamb in his arms. "You need to eat." Tobias put the lamb and noticed Spencer's wounded foot. He removed his belt and slipped it around Reid's arm and took a little bottle and a needle.

"Tobias, What are you doing ?

Don't worry, You'll feel better." He slipped the needle inside his arm.

Spencer felt his head turning and it felt on the back of the chair. Tobias shyly slipped a hand in Spencer's tousled hair. "Feel better, aren't you ? You look so beautiful..." Tobias said before kissing Reid's forehead. Reid felt Tobias' lips slipping along his skin. Tobias was licking his neck and ear, Tobias slipped his fingers into his shirt collar, loosened Spencer's tie. Spencer arched his back, moaned barely. Tobias sat on Reid's lap, kissing his collar bone. Tobias' breath was hot, his huge calloused hands were slipping along his neck and cheek. Tobias' beard was scratching Spencer's cheek while he slipped his lips up.

He didn't react immediately feeling Tobias' lips against his'. He opened slightly his misty eyes. Tobias was holding his head between his hands, gently touching his temples with the tip of his fingers. His lips was kissing quickly Spencer's unaswered lips. Reid couldn't struggle, numbed by the effect of drugs. His hands moved slowly but were quickly restrained by the handcuffs. Tobias fingers slipped along Spencer's cheeks, and down his nape. Spencer shivered, Tobias' fingers were hot and he felt cold. He leaned forward, pinning the small region of naked skin against Tobias'.

Tobias' hands slipped around Spencer's chest. "You feel cold ?" Tobias asked rubbing Spencer's back before catching his lips again. Spencer answered with a soft moan. Tobias took the opportunity to force the entry of his mouth with his tongue. Spencer couldn't escape from his embrace, he wouldn't leave the warm embrace of Tobias despite his pleading and hungry lips pinning his.

Spencer could feel the taste of Tobias' tongue inside his mouth, he could feel it slipping along his palate. Tobias' arms were so hot, so lovable, he surprised himself kissing Tobias back. Tobias moaned of pleasure, squeezing him stronger with a deep breath. Spencer felt Tobias' hands slipping in his hair,. Spencer noticed that Tobias' movements became hurrier, hungrier, more possessives. Tobias hugged him so strong he couldn't breath. Spencer strugged weakly, trying with his last strengh to take a breath. Tobias finally let him go and he breathed in deeply, cought.

"You hate me, I knew it !" Tobias said, a small tear in the corner of his eye.

Wha- ? No... "Reid said with a disarticulate tone.

"You hate me ! That's why you don't want me to kiss you !

No, no, I couldn't breath. Tobias... Please... I feel so cold..."

Tobias starred at him few seconds, took Reid's handcuffed hands, pressed them against a weird hot bump under his jean. "You feel it ? I'm hot for you." Spencer nodded, still dominated by Dilaudid's effects. "If you do this for me, I'll give you all the heat of my body." Spencer juste eared the word 'heat', he moaned, slipping his nose against Tobias' neck. Tobias squeezed him, kissed him deeply, tenderly and said. "I'm glad you say yes."

Tobias slowly took Reid's fingers, helped them to undo his fly, slipped them inside his pants. Spencer felt the hot and slick flesh under his fingers, he touched it softly, he didn't realised what this _thing_ could be. "Stroke it." Tobias said. Spencer obeyed, Tobias moaned in his ear, Reid could feel the warth of his breath along his skin. Tobias' hands softly loosened his tie, opened his shirt and slipped inside the clothes against his skin.

Spencer moaned, he was rubbing the flesh without thinking about it, his hands were sweaty, greasy but he didn't mind, Tobias was hot, he loved that. Tobias slipped the tissu down Spencer's shoulder, removed his sweat-shirt. He hugged Spencer between his naked arms but he still had this black and scratchy shirt. "Remove that..."barely articuled Reid." I don't like it.

As you wish !" Tobias panted, kissing him languorously and quickly removing his shirt.

Tobias hugged Reid, his chest was warm, soft, strong. Spencer whispered of well-being. He felt a thrill of pleasure shook him. Tobias' hand slipped down Reid's back to his crotch, rubbed it roughly. "You see it ? You're hot for me too." Tobias untie Reid's belt, opened his fly and stroked his groin. Tobias licked Reid's ear, rubbing his erection. Spencer moaned, pinning himself against Tobias' skin. He whimpered, rubbing his nose against Tobias' neck.

"Do you like it ? Me, I do." Spencer didn't answered, he was breathless, searching for Tobias' warmth. His hands was still kneading Tobias' fleshmechanically, he was shaking of plasure. He started moaning louder, he felt so good Tobias' skin was so attarctive, addictive. Tobias caught Spencer's lips, slipped his tongue inside his mouth. "I want you ! I want you !" panted Tobias, bitting his ear. He moaned loudly, he slipped his fingers around Spencer's moving fingers. "Let it go, I'll finish." He stroked the both erections together. Spencer could feel the hot and sweaty flesh against his. He couldbn't restrain his scream of pleasure when he cum between Tobias' fingers. Tobias caught his mouth, slipped him a tongue. Reid felt the hot liquid on his skin. Spencer shivered, he felt a deep pleasure inviding his whole body. Tobias get up, shaking his hand.

"I-I should dress you up. If Daddy see you he'll kill us." Tobias buttoned up Spencer's shirt, kissing Spencer's cheek tenderly. "I'm sorry, I can't warm you up anymore. I've to go." Tobias left the room quickly despite the weak and plaintive calls of Spencer. bBcause Spencer knew that Tobias would cross again when the door would no longer be the same.


	2. Drugs

**A Darkness Within My Mind**

**Chapter 2 : **Drugs

**Content : **Yaoi ; Rape ; Drugs

He let him go, leaving the cabin without saying a word, thinking deeply. Reid took a deep breath, he didn't know how long Tobias would be outside but he hoped Dilaudid will stop dizzying him.

He remembered the way Tobias and him hugged each others. He felt a shiver down his back.

Why did he do that ?

Why did he let Tobias whisper in his ear ?

Why didn't he struggle when Tobias' hands slipped along his body ?

Why did he let Tobias' warmth invading every inch of his skin, of his flesh ?

Reid felt tears running on his cheeks, like he just realized what happened to him. He curled on himself, crying of shame. He was sweaty, stinky, he could feel the ghost of Tobias' hands against his skin. He shivered, he was scared of what Tobias could do when he will be back. Charles would hit him, Rafael would threat him and now... Tobias would...

Spencer whined softly when he saw Hankel crossing the door again with the dark look of Charles. Charles walked closer, he didn't say nothing, just looking at him. Spencer's hair were mussed, his shirt half-opened, he had a red mark in his neck, his tie was on the floor, his clothes were stinky, soiled of white spots. Charles turned around the chair, Spencer's eyes were ringed, his hands and chest sweaty, shaking of fear, Spencer felt like the sound of Charles' steps and the clinking of chains were deafening.

"Something is wrong here." Spencer whined softly, shivering stronger, his head was turning around, he felt hot and cold in the same time. Charles grunted with a angry face, his hand burnt Spencer's cheek suddenly, Reid didn't even had the time to react. A scream of pain ran away from his lips, Charles grabbed his hair with his huge hands, pulled him strongly.

"I can feel the devil in your head ! Your a sinner !"

Charles slapped him stronger, Spencer felt like his neck was about to break down and his cheek to turn in fire.

"Do not pervert my son ! I want him to stay pure ! I want him to become an angel ! I don't want you to ruin all the work I did !" Spencer wasn't listening, whining under the rain of hits, deaf by the sound of the rugged voice of Charles and the sound of the slaps against his cheeks.

"I should kill you now, before you pervert my son !" Spencer cried, the hands of Charles stopped hitting him, grabbed his shirt and pulled his closer. Reid could feel Charles' hot breath along his face. "If my son become a sinner because of you, I swear in front of God I will kill you !"

Charles let him go, stepped back in the darkness of the little cabin. His look turned into Rafael's.

Garcia was shaking in front of the screens, the voice of Reid was clouded by the speakers. Jason was squeezing Penelope's shoulder. Morgan, Prentiss, Aaron and JJ were looking silently the scene, paralyzed of fear. Reid was here, in front of them, behind the screens and they couldn't help him. Rafael asked him to choose someone to kill and someone to save.

Everyone were waiting for a clue from Reid about his location. But fear was so strong, they didn't noticed the thin sentence from Reid to help him. They lose too much time.

Spencer was crying, starring at the screens, waiting for the next Rafael's murder. When he saw the dark shadow on the screen, he felt tears rolling on his cheeks. He wanted to runaway, far far away. His mind get blank and finally he ran away. In his thoughts.

Tobias came back, Spencer was almost sleeping, invaded by Dilaudid. He softly came closer, slipped his hand along Reid's forehead. Spencer moaned smoothly, smiled. Tobias was starring at him, puzzled by Reid's smiled. He was on drugs, he acted like a little puppy seeking hugs. He was damn cute, Tobias kissed Reid's forehead, cheeks, lips, neck softly. He heard Spencer purring like a kitten. Tobias moved away from him. Spencer was sleeping, completely relaxed.

Tobias slowly unbuttoned Reid's shirt, stroked his chest. Spencer didn't wake up, just moaning quietly. Tobias removed his sweat-shirt and T-shirt. He licked Reid's neck, bit his ear, slipped his hand against Spencer's crotch. Reid obeyed submissively, allowing Tobias to touch him the way he wanted. Tobias spread Spencer's legs open, knelt down between them. Tobias opened Reid's fly carefully. Reid was still sleeping peacefully when Tobias slipped his tongue along his penis.

Spencer blushed his dream became pink and weird, it wasn't his memories anymore. He woke up suddenly, Tobias stuck between his thighs, slowly moving his head near his groin with a heavy sucking sound. He began to whine and struggled weakly, realizing what Tobias was doing. The man between his legs lifted his look without stopping what he was doing. Spencer put his hand against Tobias' face, he felt so good, he could feel Tobias' tongue slipping up and down his penis, his deep throat contract around his erection. He head felt down the back of the chair, yielding to gentle and expert gestures of his kidnapper.

He stroked shyly Tobias' cheeks and slipped his fingers through his hair. Tobias slipped his hand along Reid's chest and thighs. It was so good, Tobias was so good at this, as if he had done it a thousand times. Spencer felt he was about to come, whined softly to Tobias to stop but the man didn't listen.

Tobias suddenly let him go, surprised by Spencer's ejaculate. He swallowed, cough. Spencer apologized, he should be more precise, he felt guilty. Tobias stood up, Spencer noticed that he removed his top. "You don't have to be sorry, replied Tobias with a small smile, I should listen to you we you told me to stop.

Tobias...I'm so sorry, I was the only one to enjoy.

Don't I didn't ask you for...this...

Tobias...I...I want you to enjoy too."

Spencer immediately regretted his words. Tobias felt so good it leaves an after these words he kissed lovingly and brutally Spencer, slipped his tongue in his mouth, almost bitting him. He finally left his lips, Spencer was panting, cheeks blushing, hair mussed, a small trickle of saliva in the corner of his mouth. Tobias was trying to remove his belt, his hands shaking of excitement, Spencer leaned toward him and bit the leather belt, pulled the belt to loosen it. Tobias stroked his hair, looking at him Spencer removed the belt with his teeth, he was now bitting the button of his jean. Spencer opened the fly, he was now in front of Tobias' inflated boxers. He licked and sucked his underwear. Tobias slipped it down, pulled Spencer's head closer. Spencer immediately opened his mouth and let it get in.

Tobias stroked Reid's nape, Spencer was moving his head, licking the best he could, but he couldn't put it in his deep throat. Tobias was moving his hips, Spencer could ear him grunting of pleasure. Spencer could feel the warmth of Tobias' huge cock against his tongue, the pressure of Tobias' hands against his nape. Spencer tried to be as good as Tobias was. He felt his penis became hard again. Spencer slowly slipped his hand along his erection, trying to not attract the attention of Tobias. He began to masturbate while pressing Tobias' dick deeper in his throat. Tobias had his both hands against Spencer's head, he was snorting like a wild animal. Tobias stroked his forehead, moved Spencer's hair away.

"Look at me please. I want to see your eyes." Spencer obeyed, Tobias' look was full of love, tenderness. He didn't noticed Spencer's hands moving between his legs. "Spencer !*moan* I-I will come !" Tobias withdrew his cock from his mouth and masturbated in front of his face. Spencer closed his mouth and eyes. "No, keep your mouth open." said Tobias slipping his thumb along his bottom lips. Reid obeyed, opened his mouth wide, the movements of their both hands against their respective penises get faster. Spencer moaned, his cheeks red, his hands became wet and he ejaculated for the second time. Spencer licked Tobias' erection with the top of his tongue.

Tobias grunt, stroked Reid's hair and Spencer felt some hot liquid on his face. They were both panting, Tobias knelt down and kissed Spencer's lips. He slipped his tongue inside, kissing him languorously, put back his clothes and helped Reid to do the same. Tobias took a towel, washed softly Spencer's face, kissing him several times. "I promise you, I'll protect you from Daddy and Rafael. I swear in front of God. You're my angel, I swear, with me you'll be safe."

Spencer could restrain his tears, Tobias kissed him again and left.


	3. Guilt

**A Darkness Within My Mind**

**Chapter 3 :** Escape

**Content : **Yaoi, Abuse, Drugs

Spencer drank the fresh water Tobias was giving him. "Tobias, Are we in a cemetery ?

Yes, replied Tobias giving him more water. I used to come here to get high.

I-I was right, smiled Reid.

Reid drank all the water. Now, his team could find him. Tobias gave him a second glass, when Reid drank it all, he kissed him deeply, Spencer didn't resist. He felt now a strong feeling of guilt, revealing his location he saved his life, but betrayed Tobias. That why, when Tobias undressed him again, he was enlisted without reacting. Tobias moved slowly away from his lips, slightly surprised by the absence of reactivity of his prisoner.

"Do you...want to lay down ?" Tobias asked him shyly. Reid nodded,he knew what Tobias could do to him, but he was guilty of treason and if it was the way to make amends, then, Tobias had the right to do whatever he wanted. Like a last wish. The man smiled with excitement, he released him from his chair, lift and laid him on the ground. He kissed him softly, sensually stroked his body. When Tobias' lips left his' to explore his skin, Spencer didn't move. Tobias pulled slowly on his pants, Spencer sighed of fear but let him do.

Tobias stroked his body trembling, with tenderness and softness. Spencer closed his eyes, he felt the hands slipping on his skin, lightly touching his shoulders, stroking his belly, pressing his hips. He moaned of fear, Tobias sat up, kissed his lips softly. "Don't worry, I don't want to hurt you." Reid nodded, running scared, he looked Tobias took of his belt and pull down his pants. He let him lie on him without moving. Tobias kissed his neck, stroke his body tenderly, whispering reassuring words.

Spencer clung with all his strength to Tobias' sweat-shirt. Tobias took it as a signal, an agreement. He wildly kissed Spencer's lips and penetrated him gently. Reid moaned, pressed himself against the strong body, slipped his nose in his neck. Tobias came in him entirely, his captive's arms around his neck shook stronger. He felt the fear and his trembling, he eared his terrified complaints. He pressed himself against Spencer, moving his hips slowly, let him used to it, do not hurt him. He did his best to make him feel good, to control, prevent the movement of his hips to became too violent and too brutal. Spencer called him weakly in his ear, Tobias kissed his neck, trying to relax him, it was so tight, he struggled to keep calm..

Reid tensed when Tobias' huge cock forced his way in, he moaned, scared to death, he felt the spasms that shook Tobias and he was trying to control. Tobias' hips rose and fell slowly, but the thrills which traversed the powerful body of his kidnapper seemed to take over him. The frictions of Tobias' penis became more urgent, faster, less sweet. Spencer whined, in pain, begged Tobias, calling him weakly, The men seemed to calm a bit down, kissed his neck softly.

"Relax, You're too tight...I can't...keep calm..."Tobias grunted in his ear. Reid whined, he tried to take this advice but this overdose of sensations stopped him, Dilaudid, hunger, Tobias' large hands against his skin, his breath burning his neck, the sliding noise of their two bodies and Tobias' growls invaded him. He weird heat began to crawl over in his lower belly, he he shuddered, scared by this new feeling added to the others. He arched suddenly with a yelp of pleasure, Tobias just hit his weak point. Encouraged by Spencer's reaction, the men baited on this area stronger.

Spencer was destabilized by this explosion of unexpected pleasure and bit his forearm to hold his screams. Tobias could now let the movement of his hips move with as much force as he wished. He noticed Reid's attitude and tried to calm him down and remove his arm from his mouth. Spencer let it go and Tobias kissed him lovingly. Tobias felt a spike of desire invading him, every shivers of Spencer under his body, every movement of his hips close to his' and every yell of pleasure the lips of his captive let escape dangerously intoxicated him. Spencer suddenly pressed himself against him, grabbing his clothes with all his strength. Tobias nibbled his shoulder, slowly slipped his hand between Reid's thighs.

He started rubbing his hostage's penis softly. Spencer moaned louder, put his hand on his to fallow his movements. Spencer was completely abandoned to him, he owned his completely, Reid trusted him. He pressed himself against Reid with love, making him moan again. Spencer's lips slipped along his neck, trying to catch his lips, like supplicating kisses. Tobias felt strengthened by his actions and kissed him lovingly, he had the impression to be in paradise, he could go to hell now, he would no longer regret to have touch to the forbidden fruit. Spencer's lips brought him so much pleasure, he had the sensation his brain burst every time he move his hips.

Reid arched suddenly with another yell. Tobias felt he was coming, he redoubled of strength in his hips, he wanted to share this feeling Reid felt at this moment. A shiver ran through his spine, his body was thrown in a vise of intense and powerful pleasure, invading him with the violence of a tidal wave. In a united scream, the both lovers reached together the gates of heaven.

Tobias withdrew slowly, looking at the naked body quivering of Reid. He bend down to kiss him a last time, he helped him to his clothes back, if Father or Rafael saw them they would kill them with no hesitation. Tobias helped him to get up and sit back on the chair. Reid didn't even struggle, Tobias was still panting. Reid looked at him, trying to hide the deep feeling of guilt he felt. Tobias thought Reid didn't enjoy enough, he wrapped Spencer's arm with his belt, preparing the Dilaudid. Reid was looking at him peacefully, soon his team will find him and Tobias and him would be separated.

The needle pricked his arm, Spencer felt his head turning and hit the back of the chair, the outline became blurred and he fell in a surreal gentleness.

Reid dug his own grave, sobbing, Charles threatened him to the point of his knife. His arms were shaking as he weighted his duty. In front of him he noticed the dancing lights of the policemen. His heart start beating faster. He didn't want to die now, not when his team was so close of him, he curled on himself, crying weakly. "Dig !" ordered Charles his eyes full of wrath.

I can't, I'm too weak." whined Spencer hooked to the handle of hisshovel.

Charles growled, pushed him away brutally, Reid rushed on the gun. "Bad luck boy, their's only one bullet in the gun."

Reid shoot.

Hankel fell on the floor, Reid knew he wouldn't raise up again.

End ?


	4. Two-faced Lover

**A Darkness Within My Mind**

**Chapter 4 **: Sweet Illusions

**Content :** Angst ; Drugs Shematthew

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !"

Reid woke up screaming of fear, struggling with all his strengths to escape of this huge thing holding him. He fell on the floor, crashing his left arm, he curled on himself, moaning of pain. He just wrapped himself in the blanket while he slept, he was shivering and sticky of sweat. He freed himself of the blanket, sobbing. He dreamed of Tobias again, Reid fell on his couch. It was cold, he rubbed his shoulders nervously, thinking to the warmth Tobias gave him in this little cabin, his stomach clenched, he rushed to the bathroom. He fell on his knees and threw up in the toilet.

He remained here, prostrated several minutes. He was both ashamed and despair of his separation from Tobias. He stood up, staggering,flushed and walked awkwardly to the sink. He pulled on one of the tile which revealed his hidden place. He took a little bottle of a transparent liquid, Tobias' Dilaudid. Reid prepared the syringe, he knelt down,, looked at this needle. He felt ashamed and weak, he was just a drug addict, a junkie. He stuck the needle in his vein.

A sigh of relief escaped from his lips, the drug, running through his blood, erased all his problems and guilt. Reid opened slowly his eyes on the sweet illusions of the Dilaudid,the syringe rolled on the floor. A large hand took it.

"You shouldn't let it on the floor...

Tobias, you came back."

Tobias leaned over him and stroked his cheek tenderly, moving away the sticking and sweaty strands of his forehead. Reid softly touched the warm hand. "I don't like to see you like this, You did a nightmare again ?

Reid nodded, snuggling against the warm chest of the sweetest illusion. Tobias hugged him, kissed his forehead and stroked his hairs. "Sleep, I'll take care of you."

Reid smiled of happiness, cuddling against Tobias, he fell asleep, soothed.

"Are you okay Reid ? You seem exhausted." Morgan was right to worry, several months after Tobias' death, Reid felt weaker than ever. He felt the Stockholm Syndrome for a dead man and drugged himself to find him back. But he just raised his face, smiling and answered

"I'm fine, I just watched Star Trek late at night yesterday.

Didn't you see them a hundred of times ?

Does this mean I shouldn't watch them a hundred and one times ?"

Morgan laugh, relieved that his friend felt better, but he knew deeply his friend wasn't doing that well and that he probably didn't watch Star Trek last night. Victims who are still alive don't make you worry the same way than a dead one. Reid was a living victim, and nobody wanted to see him this way. Actually nobody wanted to think that they just closed their eyes on Reid's real pain. It's hard to ignore a friend who claims your attention, but it's even harder to ignore a friend's well-known problems because he didn't ask for your help just because he didn't want to annoy everybody.

Morgan knew it, but he didn't want to think he just gave up.

Reid rubbed his eyes, he didn't stay up late at night, if he was tired it was because he fainted on the cold floor of the bathroom, dreaming he was snuggled against the warm body of Tobias. It was the third time he did it, he was exhausted now, but what could he do ?

Morgan knocked on the door of Reid's room, he asked to sleep earlier and nobody could say 'no' to Reid. Morgan called him behind the door but nobody answered. "Reid ? It's Morgan ! Open up, kid !" He waited few minutes and knocked again.

"Kid ?"

Derek put his hand on the handle and the door opened by itself, he slipped his head inside the room, the hotel bedroom was dark and Reid wasn't there. He came in, closed the door and called Reid again. Under the door of the bathroom he could see the small ray of light, Morgan slowly get closer, scared about the thing he could see.

"Someone's coming, I must leave Spencer."Tobias whispered tenderly, kissing softly the forehead of the young man cuddling against him.

"Tobias, I beg you, stay a little bit longer, he will leave.

I can't Spencer, I'm sorry, I must go.

Tobias no !"

Morgan came in, Reid was lying on the floor, eyes shut, his belt wrapped around his arm, muttering incomprehensible words, waving his arms in the air as if he wanted to hold something against him. Morgan rushed at him, lift him from the ground. "Hey ! Hey Kid ! Do you hear me ?! Reid ! C'mon Kid ! Look at me !

M-Morgan ? W-What are you doing here ?" Reid stammered, opening suddenly his eyes.

"Damn it, Gamin ! I worried about you ! What the hell are you doing ?! You wanna ruin yourself ?!

B-But no ! M-Morgan, that's not what you think !

So, what the hell is this !" shouted he snatching the syringe and the small bottle from his hands. "You're going to tell me this is your cure for cough !"

Reid stepped back, he seemed freaked out, he wasn't completely himself, he was shaking and started sobbing babbling incomprehensible syllables. Morgan though he was an idiot, screaming like this against Reid, he didn't need this. He knelt close to him and hugged him friendly. "I don't understand Reid. Why are you doing this, what does it give you ?"

Reid remained silent, starring the floor, completely lost, just like he was searching for something. "Reid, listen to me." Spencer raised his head, surprised, just as he just noticed his presence. Morgan wasn't talking to his Reid but to a junkie totally high. He stood up and pulled Reid's arm, the young man obeyed calmly. Derek led him to his bed and sat him on. He removed the young agent's shoes, his socks, his belt, his pants, and then laid him on the bed. Reid didn't struggle at all while Morgan took care of him. Morgan sat close to him and in his mind clouded by drugs he finally recognize the silhouette of his friend and tears of shame slipped down his cheeks because he forced him to see that. He dried his face with a sob of guilt, every people close to him were hurt.

Derek turned toward him, helped him to dry his wet cheeks. « Kid, please, tell me. What's happening to you ?

Tobias Hankel...

we already talked about that, he detained and tortured you in a cabin during two days.

No, Tobias tried to help me, his father and Rafael hurt me.

Reid, it's not just that ?" Morgan asked, knowing the kind of things he could hear from the mouth of his friend.

"To-Tobias...I loved him and...I...I slept with him."

Morgan's heart stopped beating while Reid couldn't restrain his tears of shame. He must look away to restrain his own tears. "Did...Did he forced you ?" he asked, trying pitifully to make things easier to accept.

"No." Reid said" He asked me and I let him do everything he wanted.

Why!" Morgan fulminated. "Why did you let this junk touch you !

He wasn't a junk ! And I forbid you to about him this way !" Reid shouted before his voice was hoarse of sadness. "He-He took care of me, and when he was touching me he..He was careful to not hurt me. And I killed him ! I killed the man I loved !"

Morgan shut up, finally understanding all the pain Reid felt. More than just the trauma of a murder and sequestration, he was suffering of the death of his lover. The murder of this man who made him feel pain and love. Morgan stroked softly his forehead. "Sorry Reid. Sorry, I didn't understand.

It's not your fault, you never killed the person you love.

No, but when you killed the one you loved I almost lost mine."

Reid raised his head, eyes full of questions. Derek was looking at him with sadness, stroking softly his face. Spencer sat up to be closer to Derek. "W-What do you mean ?"Reid said looking at the floor. Morgan leaned down and kissed lovingly the lips of Spencer. Spencer didn't move, petrified by the warm presence of Morgan's lips, reminding dangerously him the warmth of Tobias'. "This mean I love you Spencer Reid."

Morgan hugged the young man, smelled the perfume of his hairs. Spencer, for the second time stayed completely submissive. Derek was tenderly stroking his hairs,probably waiting for his answer. Reid breathed deeply, wrapped his arms around the reassuring body of the agent. "I-I though you'll never say this."

Morgan smiled, shook the young man against him. "I though I could never say them."

Reid snuggled against the hot body, slid his nose in his neck, eyes shut, they stayed still during several minutes. When Reid opened his eyes he saw those eyes he known so well, this hurt look, his heart sink when he saw the sight of Tobias leaning against the door of the bathroom, a painful smile on his face. He silently uttered the words, detaching the syllables for Reid could read them on his addictive lips._ I will love you forever and through death._

"Me too."

Morgan smiled, stroked the shivering body of his lover, heart warmed by those sweet words.


End file.
